What Happened With Me

Pinto Art Museum 2018

Hola, mamshies! It has been a couple of months from the last time I wrote real time. Life has been busy and I am enjoying every step of the way. Just to give you a quick recap of what happened with my life, I finally started working 9-5 again and starting to get my life back on track. People close to me knows that my professional and personal growth suffered a lot last year because of unexpected events. Just so we're clear though, I am not blaming anything nor anyone, since I know that God has a better plan for me. He did, really. I was faced with choosing to work between two companies that I both like. For privacy, I won't be mentioning their names but 1 is from the construction company and the other a relatively new IT industry. It was hard since I both wanted to work for the two but I also have to come to a decision. 

The construction company was a big company, a company everyone would want to work to since they are known internationally, an established company having been in the business for so long. Security wise, your job is safe. They're also bagging a lot of fringe benefits, something I always wanted. But the catch is this, I am being offered a rank and file position, which I think is already way beyond my experience (their HR structure doesn't include a supervisory position, just straight to managerial -- whaaaaat?!), commute and transportation is very hard especially during rush hour. The only means to go to the company is to take the jeepney (they are located in the service road side), and the work schedule is 6 days a week (48 hour work week), which would be a big adjustment since I am really aiming for atleast a 6 days work day but with the 6th day on a half day basis. Another con point was when boyfie told me that turnover was a little high in the company (he was a former employee) which we all know is a hard part for HR people.

The IT company was small. Not a start-up business but the industry was fairly new and is just booming. Benefits are not that many and grandiose since it's small. However, it is very promising. Their HR department is new and there is a lot of opportunity to leave a legacy. Another thing I like is that I am in direct supervision by the owner which is an inspirational person. He speaks at seminar and does leadership conferences so getting inspired with how he leads is a perk. Aside from that, the company is a good 30-45 mins away from our house with traffic so I'd be home early after work, they function at a strictly 40-hr workweek and discourages overtime to staffs since they promote work-life balance. The cons is that it's small, there's no HR process, there is a lot to fix with regards to their structures and benefits are your usual benefits.

You'd be asking, who did I choose? 

To answer you, I chose the IT company. 

I'd rather work in a company where I could leave a legacy and be recognized of importance than work in a company where I'd just follow processes and not be given a chance to showcase what I could offer to the table.

Boy, my boyfriend was so happy to see me go to work since I have been ranting a lot to him about my lack of importance the past year. He said that he is very happy that I could do what I love again, and that is to function as an HR.

This new page in my life is recounted here not to prove to anyone, especially my former boss, that I am capable of living and going on with my life after my tenure with her, but to inspire people going through the same phase as I am that there is life after getting lost, and with the right people behind you, you'd be able to bounce back again and start a new chapter in your life.

I didn't suffer depression per se but I got deeply troubled with how my career life would go after everything. I have breadwinning duties at home and I cannot be without money since aside from my sister, I am the one earning for our family and my youngest sibling is on his last year in a private university. It also didn't help that I see a lot of my colleagues having fun at work, posting pictures of their offices, what they did today and here I am, lounging at home, looking for a job, pondering about why life did this to me. I felt low, powerless, and useless. Something I haven't felt before.

2019 will be a good year. I know that because I am ready of all the challenges life will throw at me. I am shield with armory to help me fight my problems and lastly, God is with me.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5